This time of year people begin to think about setting goals for the upcoming new year. Few will reflect upon the goals they set for the past year. Some of this could be due to not having written down their goals, or remembering where they were written, but often it is because they don't believe that anything happened for them this year.
My question is, are you paying attention? Recently, I worked with a patient that came in with low back pain. We talked a little about what was going on in her life and about her complaint before beginning the B.E.S.T. session. She mentioned that she couldn't wait for the new year because nothing seemed to have gone the way she wanted this year. During her session I kept wondering what she was missing, what she wasn't paying attention to that did work for her this year.
After the session I asked her some questions and this is what happened.
"What is it that you wanted to happen this year, that you don't think happened?" I asked
"Well, I, my weight didn't change." she replied, but we both knew that wasn't it. I waited a moment and the asked, "What else? What did you really want?"
"My own bank account." she said as she hung her head. "But, I couldn't open one because of past student loans that are in default. I was devastated and thought my dreams of starting my side business was gone." I could see the tears forming in the corner of her eyes.
"Didn't you tell me you had started selling things online? How is that going?"
"Oh, it's going great! I've been so excited with the orders and my PayPal account has had more than enough money in it to buy all our Christmas gifts online without touching our bank account."
I began to smile, this was it and she didn't even see it yet. "That is wonderful. It sounds like you got your business started AND opened your own account."
"What do you mean? This isn't the business I wanted to start and I didn't open an account." I could feel her anxiety beginning to express itself.
"Well, it may not have been how you thought it would turn out, but it did turn out. You have started your own business, but not in a building with lots of inventory and a shiny sign, but you started it and it is something you can manage with success. And, the account may not have been in a bank, but it is money that you have available to you for things you need and want, basically, it's an account."
"Huh." Silence for a few mintues as she thought about it. "You're right. I did get what I want, but not exactly how I thought it would work out, how I wanted it to work."
"How do you feel about it now?"
Pause, huge smile with big tears, "I love it and have been so excited. It's been going so well. I can't believe I didn't notice."
Wow, so how many times do we miss it, miss that thing we wanted so badly because it didn't show up exactly how we wanted it? If we miss it, we can't express gratitude for it. Missing it means staying in the same victim story cycle of "nothing good ever happens to me". Really? Maybe it does, but you are so focused on what others have or the exact way you wanted something to happen that you can't even see how much good does indeed happen to you.
She left with pep in her step, a smile on her face and no low back pain. Maybe this year she will notice her successes, in whatever manner they show up.
My question is, are you paying attention? Recently, I worked with a patient that came in with low back pain. We talked a little about what was going on in her life and about her complaint before beginning the B.E.S.T. session. She mentioned that she couldn't wait for the new year because nothing seemed to have gone the way she wanted this year. During her session I kept wondering what she was missing, what she wasn't paying attention to that did work for her this year.
After the session I asked her some questions and this is what happened.
"What is it that you wanted to happen this year, that you don't think happened?" I asked
"Well, I, my weight didn't change." she replied, but we both knew that wasn't it. I waited a moment and the asked, "What else? What did you really want?"
"My own bank account." she said as she hung her head. "But, I couldn't open one because of past student loans that are in default. I was devastated and thought my dreams of starting my side business was gone." I could see the tears forming in the corner of her eyes.
"Didn't you tell me you had started selling things online? How is that going?"
"Oh, it's going great! I've been so excited with the orders and my PayPal account has had more than enough money in it to buy all our Christmas gifts online without touching our bank account."
I began to smile, this was it and she didn't even see it yet. "That is wonderful. It sounds like you got your business started AND opened your own account."
"What do you mean? This isn't the business I wanted to start and I didn't open an account." I could feel her anxiety beginning to express itself.
"Well, it may not have been how you thought it would turn out, but it did turn out. You have started your own business, but not in a building with lots of inventory and a shiny sign, but you started it and it is something you can manage with success. And, the account may not have been in a bank, but it is money that you have available to you for things you need and want, basically, it's an account."
"Huh." Silence for a few mintues as she thought about it. "You're right. I did get what I want, but not exactly how I thought it would work out, how I wanted it to work."
"How do you feel about it now?"
Pause, huge smile with big tears, "I love it and have been so excited. It's been going so well. I can't believe I didn't notice."
Wow, so how many times do we miss it, miss that thing we wanted so badly because it didn't show up exactly how we wanted it? If we miss it, we can't express gratitude for it. Missing it means staying in the same victim story cycle of "nothing good ever happens to me". Really? Maybe it does, but you are so focused on what others have or the exact way you wanted something to happen that you can't even see how much good does indeed happen to you.
She left with pep in her step, a smile on her face and no low back pain. Maybe this year she will notice her successes, in whatever manner they show up.
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